|
| I feel useless as a student. I can't talk in large groups. I can't sleep. How do I sleep? I must finish some papers. | | |
| am I following You? no.., i'm staying up, unwilling to go to bed.., knowing i need to face a new day... is that the real reason? I am growing increasingly skeptical of what others say, but I still believe in You and know that Your way is the best. I want to lay in water and just drift off. I used to think i wanted to be remembered., but maybe it is better to be forgotten.. But, i want to live for You, i've lost my way.., take me back. This annoying cough, i can't sleep.., time to face the music.., what music? I don't know how praise is still running.., i guess there's internet connection that's why., once i disconnect that.., it'll be off. i failed.., failed at life.. but You are still God. and I will try to sleep now. | | |
| i'm high off ping pong lessons. so i'm not sure if i can sleep right away.
but took a shower.., and i feel good.. physically.., it's been awhile since i felt like i accomplished something.. 
to special someone: i am sorry i am sometimes not able to say things directly. it's hard to say some things without being in person. and part of the second last xanga post i just needed you to see.
well, today., i thought my cousin would be at my grandma's house,
but he wasn't there, cause he was out with a friend from Pittsburgh. so i kind of sat around and did nothing.
I ended up watching that DVD that my girl cousin borrowed for us with my uncle. (she didn't know the movie would be bad either.., the guy at the movie store said it was good.)
like the movie from yesterday, it was bad..
lots of fast forwarding.
I think i got in a little trouble for it.
I wish i could read Chinese to understand the ratings on the back.
It was a pretty much, do nothing day almost.., i did, however, complete my reading for my assignment.
Ate dinner at grandma's house.
left early cause i was tired.
watched some TV with my dad and restrung an old classical guitar.. (never strung one before)
Talked to my dad about ping pong.., and we went and I got lessons.
it's mad.., relearning stuff., the backhand.., a pushing motion? what the...? i guess it's just basics.
teacher kept getting frustrated cause i was trying to play fast...,
i got new paddles today, because the ones i had before.., didn't have enough grip.
well, lessons in the morning.., i should be alert for those.., it'll really be helpful with my homework i hope.
but before that.., i should check my rehearsal schedule.
| | |
| the climax would be the part that hasn't happened yet.
how do I know?
I don't know. It's the not knowing, but the not knowing that creates the temporary climax.
It's great to be alive at this point in time and my story will not end here.
I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too! | | |
| I confess that it was hard to flip the channel, and easy to go back to a channel that i shouldn't have been looking at.
but beyond hat.., i am glad i eventually got away.
I know God is somewhere. and He's helping me hold on.
Am I myself, or am I not myself?
it's hard when i am away, I wish I were in Canada., or somehow that Canada and Taiwan could be a minute away.
that would be awesome.
Man..., the song just kept repeating, and repeating and repeating and repeating......, but i was able to be respectful without having to burn incense and bowing..
my defense to why don't you follow our traditions:
well, I am a Christian and it is wrong for me to burn incense for grandpa, and eat the food that is set out for 30 minutes for grandpa... (a common answer i may get would be, but it's for grandpa)
in which i would ask: why do vegetarians not eat meat? there's so many kinds of different meat there, but they choose to eat none of it...
it is their belief that it is not good to eat meat and it is my belief that i shouldn't take part in some of these traditional funeral practices..
today was an okay day.
we bought some bubbletea, and green tea stuff., (well that's what i had anyways)
other cousins had basic bubble tea, with coffee stuff inside, and regular bubble tea.., and yeah.., that was about it.
lots of bubble teas today. O.o
it was good.
we watched a strange movie instead of this German movie with only English or Chinese subtitles.
it was funny in some parts, but really wrong in other parts. (wasn't exactly the family movie, but we fast forwarded.
i got to play with my niece. she enjoyed watching me twirl some "ya gao" toothpaste..
okay tired of typing.., this is like a train of thought thingy..
I feel better.
| | |
|
